Hospital Hell

Okay, after the recovery room, they wheeled me into a regular room. I barely remember that. I remember the nurse was like an Angel. She came in to give me drugs but they wanted me to drink liquid drugs instead of shooting me up. I tried not to take it. It was funny because I could barely talk. When she finally got me paper and pen and figured out what I wanted. She laughed saying usually people are asking for more drugs and I was trying to get them to give me ibuprofen instead of the prescription. She did tell me though that at that time I still had meds in me and the pain hadn’t hit yet. She explained me that you need to take pain meds before you are in pain so they can work at a constant level not try to bring you back from horrible pain. I took what she wanted me to take and then she brought me the most amazing thing... Oxygen. If you get this surgery, make sure they give you oxygen after. It soothed and cooled my throat, which was about 3,000 degrees before the oxygen.

I wanted to sleep, that was it, sleep until I could go home to my baby. Sleep and recover in the hospital? Not in this one. I had the roommate from hell and there were no more rooms. This dear woman, I don’t know why she was in there but apparently she had been there a long time. My usual gentle self wanted to hold the pillow over her face by the time I left, just so she would shut-up. After I took my meds and got my oxygen tank, she got on the phone. She yelled at one of her children for about an hour. Whew, I thought, she’s done. No, she had more kids, called the next one, and yelled at that one too for about an hour too.

I asked the nurse to help me sleep. She game me headphones and I found a classical music station on the television and cranked that up into my ears. I could still hear her. Then I put the motor for the oxygen tank on my pillow, so I had that noise too. The only option they had was to put me in the hall and I wasn’t going into the hall, so I had to deal. At about midnight she was quiet. Yay, sleep. What the hell is that? Her TV, where are her earphones? Grrr. Okay, twelve more hours and I can go home.

Around one, she finally shut the television off and went to sleep, hallelujah. Sleep. Two hours later, she was screaming in pain. The nurses told her it wasn’t time for her medication yet and they couldn’t give her any. In and out the nurses went. She was screaming and crying. I felt bad for her then, well until the nurses left and she called someone else at 3 am on the cell phone...

There was no hope for me sleeping, I just had to bide my time so I could get home and finally sleep. I watched some television programs and nodded off when I could. My parents finally got there at eight a.m. and my mother, champion advocate started rallying for me to go home. You had to eat to get out of the hospital. I checked the menu to see what I thought a person who just had their throat slip should it, and there I saw it yogurt. Cold, smooth and had protein. Swallowing hurt so bad I didn’t want to swallow any extra times, so every swallow had to count. I ate that yogurt so I could go home. My mom did a good job doctor wrangling and although it took until 12:30, I finally got to go home and my parents headed out for their eight hour ride home. And I slept.. Well until my daughter got home from school a couple of hours later. She was so good though, I paid the neighbor boy who is older, and she has known all her life, to play with her. So I was able to lay in bed and rest. His Grammy brought me a case of yogurt, what a smart lady. That was what I ate for a week, yogurt, and ice water. And since I didn’t have a metabolism, I didn’t even lose a pound. Bonus. Not.

My friend told me that when the renovations are done at our hospital, there will only be private rooms and other people won’t have to suffer with the roommate from hell as I did. So if you get anything out of this. Stock up on yogurt before you go into the hospital, and when you get to your room ask them if you can have an oxygen tank.